I have been in a major funk. It’s been awhile since I’ve been here. I am coming off such a high from summer and crashing hard. What do you do when life as you’ve known it for the past 7 years suddenly changes? The band-aid was ripped off and you still feel the sting. I am floating in a fog. I am just going through the motions.
I am feeling like my creativity has vanished. I have always been a creative person. I thrive on creating and just letting things flow. None of that has been happening. I reached out to a dear friend to ask her what is wrong with me? She said something that finally put it all into perspective for me:
“Jen, your identity was just a mom. Detaching yourself from that and finding your new identity takes time and patience. Now that your kids are in school, it’s time to find out who you are.”
And that right there was a light bulb. I’m lost. I just need to find my way back. I was solely defined by my kids for so long that I do not know what to do. Of course I am still a mom and that will always be my number one priority. But I am no longer at their every beck and call. They have ventured out into the world. For 7 hours a day they are in the hands of someone else.
There’s also this thing called pressure. Now that I have more time on my hands I am feeling this immense pressure to bring more income in for our family. Are we struggling? No. Could things be better? Absolutely. Can’t they always? I am consumed of thoughts of what I am going to do to contribute financially to the family. My options are limited because I need to say a bit flexible.
Confusion mixed with pressure and add a little heart break in there makes one heck of a cocktail. So where do I go from here? I think I start by taking a deep breath and remembering others have been in my shoes. I need to refocus my energy and look at the positives. And I need remember that this too shall pass.
Have you been in a similar situation? What did you do to find yourself again?